Callalily - Destination XYZ

Callalily - Destination XYZi
Year : 2006

Track Listing
-------------

1. Stars
2. Pasan
3. Take My Hand
4. Magbalik
5. Yakap
6. Kung Kaya Ko Lang
7. Takipsilim
8. Sanctuary
9. Muli
10. Dream
11. Insane
12. The Final Song

“Five group of guys that hasn't been de-flowered..."

Nice, 6CycleMind has a new album (again)..but wait...with different band members??? and...a new name?!?!? Oh hold on...this is a different band called Callalily. Mah bad.. So who the fuck is this Calalilly band?? Sila ay isang banda tinae nanaman ng mga record companies para lang i-halo sa mga nagsusulputang mga pogi-bands sa pinas.... (groan)....The Philippines has atleast 7,000 islands with a population of about.....a BILLION people...you would think record companies would find a descent sounding band to sign. But nope. They refuse to look for a good band but instead play it safe with a band that's a doppelganger of a another band. Ok let me check their website for more info..... Five guys... you think they would conjure up a name that sounds more manly. But nope they named themselves after a flower!!! Fuckin douchebags.
.... (bzzzzz)
...... (boop beep boop boop boooppp)
.......... (rrrinnnnggg)
............ (silence....)
................. (kkkzzzrrs)
............ (zzzkkkewee)
........ (kkrrrrrssss)
............. (beeeepppp bbboooppppp)
......... (sshkkreeeeeeeeee)
........... (damn dial-up connection)

....AND this is what i found!! I can't believe this shit: "The band is composed of five young, goodlooking and talented college students Kean Cipriano, 18 on vocals; Aaron Paul Ricafrente, 19 on bass; Tatsi Jamnaque, 18 on guitars; Alden Acosta, 17 on guitars and Lemuel Belaro, 19 on drums..." Wow. that shit just made me laugh!!! Five young, goodlooking and (un)talented musicians. Are you fucking serious??? Is this an ad for a dating service??? It just blows my mind how a record company would start off describing a band on how aesthetically pleasing they are to look at.... Who the fuck cares if your goodlooking. But can you fucking play and make music you sons of bitches??? Apparently not, since you just sound like the rest of those pogi rock bands. It's unbelievable how the vocalist sounds so much like the guy from that band 6InchSpinCycleBrain, down to the tone and the delivery.

Callalily (or Zantedeschia) - herbaceous perennial plants growing to 1-2.5 m tall with leaves 15-45 cm long. The inflorescence is a showy white, yellow or pink spathe shaped like a funnel with a yellow, central, finger-like spadix.

Need I say more??? I bet these retards probably had a different name when they started but ended up being their agent's pleasure holes that theyre willing to give up their band name just so they can release an album not even worth listening to. What a bunch of fuck-tards. And as I'm listening to the album while I'm writing this "review", it's apparent that everything was borrowed from the said band, down to their instruments i think. The songs, the music, the guitar sound.... sounds exactly alike. Exept the songs are LESS catchy. "Stars" their lead single sounds like a blatant rip-off of "Sandalan". The next song "Pasan" sounds like....hold on, why must every OPM album have a song about being THAT FRIEND that can take their problems away. Rivermaya has "Elesi", PNE has "Magic Spaceship", Imago has "Sundo" and even Dice & K9 has "Best Friends". What ever happened to deep meaningful socio-relevant lyrics? Yano, in my opinion weren't technical musicians, but their lyrics atlest tounched on issues that was relevant during that era. Can't these lame-ass bands talk about something else other than their usual fag-boy-loves-girl-but-girl-went-to-fuck-some-other-guy-with-a-corvette cliched love songs?? I know love is a universal subject blah blah but there has to be some other way to approach it.

Anyways Callalily's debut album is .... AHH who the fuck cares! All the songs in this album sounds like every song that is being played on the goddamn radio right now. I wonder if they even wrote their songs or even if it was them that played the instruments in this album. Coz this album sounds like they are doing a Cueshe/Hale/6CycleMind tribute album. Pang-masa music with the cliched lyrics that katulongs go crazy for.This album doesn't have an inch of their own identity. It's pre-made and pre-packaged music for SIMPLETONS. Yes, I said it. People who listen to this crap are SIMPLETONS. And I predict, that their 2nd album (if they're even going to make one) wont even make a shit stain on the charts. Hello did anyone even buy Cueshe's new album??? Oh what was that? You didn't even know that they released one huh? Thought so....

In hindsight, is this what the so-called 2nd wave of pinoy rock invasion has to offer??? Another fucking pogi band with no clue that they're bringing down the quality and essence of OPM rock. Where is the 'OPM' in this album? And more importantly nasaan na ang 'ROCK'??? If you take out the distortion from those guitars they'll just sound like the typical acoustic band with their cheesy love songs. But I do kinda feel bad for talking so much shit about a band that never heard what real rock music is. But hey, this IS the internet and this IS my blog. So if their music stinks more than their shit does, then it deserves to be talked shit by tae talker.

Words of wisdom for Callalily:
Stay in school kiddos, coz for damn sure the music that you guys are making is not worth JACKSHIT.

Hale - Twilight

Hale - Twilight
Year : 2006

Track Listing
-------------
1. Last Song (2:49)
2. Fire in the Sky (4:03)
3. Empty Tears, Empty Heart (4:45)
4. The Ballad Of (5:09)
5. Waltz (4:11)
6. Hide and Seek (5:18)
7. Eyes Wide Shut (3:51)
8. Liham (4:14)
9. Shooting Stars (4:12)
10. 7, 8 (5:17)
11. Elegy (4:04)
12. Dahil Sa'yo Sa Himig ng Aking Gitara (3:32)
13. Starting over (4:27)
14. Brother (5:17)

“Aw HALE noooo!!! Deeezz wack ass posers are back again!!!”

Hale. So popular. And oh so dreamy…... I have to admit, it’s hard writing a review when you can’t even bear to listen to that Hale band. It’s one thing when you like a band and then you realize their album sucks. At least by the time you realize that their album sucks you have a clear idea of what the album has to offer. But what about in this situation where just the mere mention of their name makes you want to get a knife and cut both of your ears off? Where listening to two fat people having sex is more pleasurable? Yes. It’s that terrible. Some of you HALERS might say: “How can you say that? Your not a fan?” Exactly my point. Im NOT a Fan. Or a HALER might butt-in and say: “If you have nothing good to say, don’t say it. People have different tastes in music and we should all… blahblahblah….”. or “Have you released an album? And do you know how hard it is to write a song?” All good points. But it doesn’t take away the fact that HALE’s music blows. OK. So how did I approach this dilemma of mine? Simple. I gave each song a minute sample and did my review on that. This album is an hour long. That’s an hour that I could be doing something more productive with my life. That’s an hour that I could spend on downloading something educational at boldatporn.blogspot.com (shameless plug for pareng dandy’s website). That’s an hour. And an hour is a long time. OK brb.....

...
.....
....
.....
...

(after 20 mins.)

Whooo...got that out of my system....

OK one of the things that I have also noticed on this album is that some of the songs sounds very amateurish and has that unfinished child-like nursery rhyme thing going on. Songs like “Waltz” and “7, 8” and “Elegy” have melodies and lyrics that are just too awful to bear. Have you ever tried to write a song? And when you try to sing it, you tend to fit the sentence or phrase in before you change the chord? Or you tend to make a melody by the way you pluck the strings? Haha amateurish right? Still don’t get it? Why don’t you do this. Pluck your guitar strings from E-A-D-G. And while plucking each string, sing “My – dogg – has --- fleasss!!!” Now you know what I mean. Add to the fact that his lyrics sounds like it was taken out of his diary when he was 10 years old, this album is a testament that just because you scored one hit doesn’t mean it can happen again. He is just notorious for writing lyrics that either doesn’t make any sense or just plain cheesy and downright obvious. Everyone remembers the line: “Losing the sides of your circles”? Here we have the lyrics for 7, 8:

“I’ll always be around but I wont be home/
You’ll see me every time/ when were not alone/
You’ll hear me when you’re deaf/ coz you’re impaired
You’ll lose the sight of me/Coz you haven’t stared”

What the f**k is that s*it ?!?!? Is this guy on crack when he was writing that piece of garbage he calls lyrics??? It’s like he just put words together that rhymed and built sentences around it. Does it make sense? No. Did they still record it? Yes. What a bunch of fucking retards.


And here are lyrics that are just plain nauseating:

“You said that you’d call/what time you’ll be home/
But you never did/you said you did mean to/
Now I am enraged/ as if we were engaged/
You made me realize/I’m just your alibi “– Waltz

Boo-fucking-hoo!!! No wonder the girl didn’t call back. Sometimes his woe-is-me lyrics are too downright annoying for even an emo freak to sympathize with. Did he really expect people with at least half the brain of a chimpanzee to listen to this and go: “Wow. That was deep and meaningful. That’s exactly what I told this girl before she filed for a restraining order!!!” If you are going to use lyrics like these at least have the balls to come up with a better melody. That or work on it some more. Because those lyrics are just plain unacceptable for a so-called ‘professional musician’ who already has 2 albums under his belt to even think of making it into a song. But I read somewhere that it was written by someone else, which makes them more stupider (not really a word – Ed) for hiring a 10 year old to write lyrics for them. Dumbasses.

And even with upbeat songs like “Last Song” and “Fire in the Sky”, Champ’s vocals are just a bore to listen to. People describe his voice as gentle and soothing. I describe it as thin, monotone and lifeless. There is just no emotion to any of his songs. Even the more upbeat music didn’t have anything to reel me in. Why would you sing like you live in a mortuary for a song like Fire in the Sky? Yes, we get it Champ, your sad and you like to sing in your sad voice and do your sad little face. But even Robert Smith sang like he was the happiest guy on earth on some of The Cure songs. God, I have no idea why this band even got a record deal. Or why they chose him as the vocalist.

“Im singing my last song!! Im singing my last song!!!” - Last Song

I hope you really are Champ. I hope you really are.

I guess the sophomore jinx has taken its Toll on Champ & Co. They failed to come up with a song that will put that overplayed “The Day You Said Goodnight” song to sleep for good. Were they under the pressure to come up with another hit? Obviously. Were they able to pull it off? No. Music-wise and lyrics-wise, they took two giant steps backward. Their songs are just an overdose of melancholy while the lyrics suffer from “I-don’t-know what-else-to-write” syndrome. Combine that with Champ’s woebegone singing, listening to this album can get very tiring and at times annoying. Didn’t they read the label? It says: “Melodrama, if not applied as prescribed, may cause diarrhea, loneliness, anxiety and even DEATH”. Which exactly what happened to this album.