Orange And Lemons - Moonlane Gardens

Orange And Lemons - Moonlane Gardens
Year : 2007

Track Listing
-------------

1. Prologue
2. Moonlane Gardens
3. It’s About Time
4. Ang Katulad Mong Walang Katulad
5. Let Me
6. Moonjive
7. Eleven Minutes
8. Be With You
9. Buhay At Pagibig
10. 700 Miles
11. Ode To Love
12. Fade
13. I Feel Good, I Feel Fine
14. The Story Must Come To A Sudden End
15. A New Day
16. Epilogue

Anagram raw ng Orange & Lemons eh PLAGIARISM

"Lahat tayo mayroon pagkakaiba sa tingin pa lang ay makikita na"

Oo. Tama kayo OnL. Kitang kita na etong pangatlong album nyo ay saksakan sa pagka “over-pretensiousness” nyo. Obsess na obsess kayo sa pagka british kuno nyo eh nawala na yun pagka Pinoy nyo. Ewan ko ba. Noon unang lumabas tong mga mokong nato eh elibs na elibs ako. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, “Shyett astig to ha. Parang Nyu Weyb-Da Smits-wid-a-mikstyur-op-hawsmartins-en-a-dash-op-da-beetols!” Astiig! Kahit inspired kayo by da british bands eh nandun parin yun pinoy sound. Pero noon to nun lumabas yun album nyong “Love In The Land Of Rubber Shoes and Dirty Ice Cream” noong 2004. So ano na nangyari???

“Nais mong ipakilala kung sino ka man talaga…”

Sino nga ba kayo? Eh mukha kayong pinoy, pango mga ilong nyo pero naka turtle neck at suede jackets kayo. Yun isang mokong eh naka scarf pa. Sa init ng pilipinas hindi ba pati singit nyo eh pinagpapawisan? Yun ba ang rason at saksakan ng baho tong bagong album nyo? Ewan ko ha. Pero parang ginaya nyo lang mga kanta ng mga Beetols eh. Eto nanaman tayo. Nagnakaw na nga kayo ng kanta (remember the Pinoy Ako/Chandeliers fiasco?) ngayon naman eh buong album na! Tas bakit pa sa lahat ng mga panget na kanta na nagawa nyo eh ginawa nyo pang singol tong “Katulad Mong Walang Katulad”? Ok ok. Wow meron kundiman feel eto. Pero wa-epek eh. Parang sinulat ng mga lasing sa kanto eh. Nakakaasar yun koro. O tas yun kanta nyo pang “Let Me”. Para bang trying hard na “Let It Be.” Hindi sa sinasabi ko na ginagaya nyo yun melody per se, pero tangina naman eh obyus na obyus bosing, hindi kayo si John Lennon eh. So kung sa isip nyo eh kayo na ang pinoy JL eh i-admit nyo na sarili nyo sa isang mental ward. Hahaha.

“Ibang-iba ang pinoy
Wag kang matatakot
Ipagmalaki mo pinoy ako”

Ay naku huli na kayo sa balita. Di ba kayo nag babasa ng mga Forums? Sus pinagmalaki na sa buong mundo na puro gaya-gaya lang kayo. At madami na kayong ginago at nagago. Tangina ba naman sino ba hindi maasar dun sa spoken word ek-ek na may kasamang british accent!!! 700 Miles ba title nun? Pero malamang yun mga fans nyong mga bakla eh tiyak na tinitigasan pag narinig na yun fake accent nyo. Hindi pa ba sapat manggaya ng istilo ng ibang banda eh pati ba naman accent nang isang lahi eh kailangan pa bang gayahin??? Eh lumalabas parin yun pagka Bulakeño nyo eh. Tangina na tae yata ako nun narinig ko to! Shyett sabi ko sa sarili ko: “sarap sampalin ng tsinelas sa mukha tong mokong na to!” So ilan oras nyong pina-raktis to ser? Ilan takes? Hahahaha. Borderline delusional na ‘tong si Clem. Hoy kupal pinoy ka hindi ka british. At kung mang gagaya ka ng accent eh plis lang galingan mo naman!

“Pakita mo ang tunay at kung sino ka
Mayro’n mang masama at maganda”

So ano ba lasa ng tae na tinae nyo??? Masama ba o maganda? Lasang pinoy ba o imported from England?!?! Feeling "Pinoy Ako" parin ba kayo? Kailangan pa bang mag suot ng sweater at jacket para lang mag tunog beatles??? Kasi kulang etong album nato sa pinoy pride na pinagmamalaki nyo sa kanta nyo eh. Wala naman masama kung mag tunog poreyn yun sound nyo pero at the same time wag kayong kakanta ng kanta tunkol sa pagka-pinoy nyo kung tinatago nyo rin na pinoy kayo. Parang nagmukha lang kayong mga hipokrito.

“Wala naman perpekto
Basta magpakatotoo oohh… oohh…”

Ok so pramis nag disband na kayo ha? Totoo ba na nag break up na kayo? O baka naman ginagaya nyo lang ang The Beatles kasi nag disband rin sila? O Clem baka gayahin mo rin yun pagkamatay ni John Lennon ha? Wag naman ganyan! Wag nyo naman silang masyadong gayahin. O baka naman isa lang tong marketing ploy para bilhin ng mga tao tong album nyo. Para kunwari maging kolektors item na tong so called last album by OnL. Wais rin kayo eh. Pero may feeling ako na magkakabalikan pa kayo with a “new album in the works”. Hahaha BULLSHIT kung ganon nga. Pero kung hindi na kayo magkakabalikan eh ano pa masasabi ko kundi: RIP ONL!!! Now let’s see you try to come up with anagram for that one! HA!

Callalily - Destination XYZ

Callalily - Destination XYZi
Year : 2006

Track Listing
-------------

1. Stars
2. Pasan
3. Take My Hand
4. Magbalik
5. Yakap
6. Kung Kaya Ko Lang
7. Takipsilim
8. Sanctuary
9. Muli
10. Dream
11. Insane
12. The Final Song

“Five group of guys that hasn't been de-flowered..."

Nice, 6CycleMind has a new album (again)..but wait...with different band members??? and...a new name?!?!? Oh hold on...this is a different band called Callalily. Mah bad.. So who the fuck is this Calalilly band?? Sila ay isang banda tinae nanaman ng mga record companies para lang i-halo sa mga nagsusulputang mga pogi-bands sa pinas.... (groan)....The Philippines has atleast 7,000 islands with a population of about.....a BILLION people...you would think record companies would find a descent sounding band to sign. But nope. They refuse to look for a good band but instead play it safe with a band that's a doppelganger of a another band. Ok let me check their website for more info..... Five guys... you think they would conjure up a name that sounds more manly. But nope they named themselves after a flower!!! Fuckin douchebags.
.... (bzzzzz)
...... (boop beep boop boop boooppp)
.......... (rrrinnnnggg)
............ (silence....)
................. (kkkzzzrrs)
............ (zzzkkkewee)
........ (kkrrrrrssss)
............. (beeeepppp bbboooppppp)
......... (sshkkreeeeeeeeee)
........... (damn dial-up connection)

....AND this is what i found!! I can't believe this shit: "The band is composed of five young, goodlooking and talented college students Kean Cipriano, 18 on vocals; Aaron Paul Ricafrente, 19 on bass; Tatsi Jamnaque, 18 on guitars; Alden Acosta, 17 on guitars and Lemuel Belaro, 19 on drums..." Wow. that shit just made me laugh!!! Five young, goodlooking and (un)talented musicians. Are you fucking serious??? Is this an ad for a dating service??? It just blows my mind how a record company would start off describing a band on how aesthetically pleasing they are to look at.... Who the fuck cares if your goodlooking. But can you fucking play and make music you sons of bitches??? Apparently not, since you just sound like the rest of those pogi rock bands. It's unbelievable how the vocalist sounds so much like the guy from that band 6InchSpinCycleBrain, down to the tone and the delivery.

Callalily (or Zantedeschia) - herbaceous perennial plants growing to 1-2.5 m tall with leaves 15-45 cm long. The inflorescence is a showy white, yellow or pink spathe shaped like a funnel with a yellow, central, finger-like spadix.

Need I say more??? I bet these retards probably had a different name when they started but ended up being their agent's pleasure holes that theyre willing to give up their band name just so they can release an album not even worth listening to. What a bunch of fuck-tards. And as I'm listening to the album while I'm writing this "review", it's apparent that everything was borrowed from the said band, down to their instruments i think. The songs, the music, the guitar sound.... sounds exactly alike. Exept the songs are LESS catchy. "Stars" their lead single sounds like a blatant rip-off of "Sandalan". The next song "Pasan" sounds like....hold on, why must every OPM album have a song about being THAT FRIEND that can take their problems away. Rivermaya has "Elesi", PNE has "Magic Spaceship", Imago has "Sundo" and even Dice & K9 has "Best Friends". What ever happened to deep meaningful socio-relevant lyrics? Yano, in my opinion weren't technical musicians, but their lyrics atlest tounched on issues that was relevant during that era. Can't these lame-ass bands talk about something else other than their usual fag-boy-loves-girl-but-girl-went-to-fuck-some-other-guy-with-a-corvette cliched love songs?? I know love is a universal subject blah blah but there has to be some other way to approach it.

Anyways Callalily's debut album is .... AHH who the fuck cares! All the songs in this album sounds like every song that is being played on the goddamn radio right now. I wonder if they even wrote their songs or even if it was them that played the instruments in this album. Coz this album sounds like they are doing a Cueshe/Hale/6CycleMind tribute album. Pang-masa music with the cliched lyrics that katulongs go crazy for.This album doesn't have an inch of their own identity. It's pre-made and pre-packaged music for SIMPLETONS. Yes, I said it. People who listen to this crap are SIMPLETONS. And I predict, that their 2nd album (if they're even going to make one) wont even make a shit stain on the charts. Hello did anyone even buy Cueshe's new album??? Oh what was that? You didn't even know that they released one huh? Thought so....

In hindsight, is this what the so-called 2nd wave of pinoy rock invasion has to offer??? Another fucking pogi band with no clue that they're bringing down the quality and essence of OPM rock. Where is the 'OPM' in this album? And more importantly nasaan na ang 'ROCK'??? If you take out the distortion from those guitars they'll just sound like the typical acoustic band with their cheesy love songs. But I do kinda feel bad for talking so much shit about a band that never heard what real rock music is. But hey, this IS the internet and this IS my blog. So if their music stinks more than their shit does, then it deserves to be talked shit by tae talker.

Words of wisdom for Callalily:
Stay in school kiddos, coz for damn sure the music that you guys are making is not worth JACKSHIT.

Chicosci - Chicosci

Chicosci - Chicosci
Year : 2006

Track Listing
-------------

1. A Promise
2. Chicosci Vampire Social Club
3. Seven Black Roses
4. Sweet Maria
5. The Devil Made Me Do It
6. Knives
7. Manila Teenage Death Squad
8. You're Killing Me
9. Last Look
10. Matinee
11. Pink Hearts, Yellow Stars
12. January Days

“Vampires neverrrr dddiieeeee!!!”

I can still remember like it was just yesterday when Miggy Chavez was still "kup-kupawing" and trying oh-so hard to scream with his small little girly-like voice. Oh those were the days. But I had more respect for them back then since they were actually trying their best to sound so 'hard-core'. But Miggy & Co. could never really pull off that 'kupaw' sound anyways. But I have to admit. I did get suckered in when I heard that 'Paris' song. So when did these jackoffs go "EMO" while I wasn't looking? Did they all wake up one day and just decided to cut off their balls so they can wear those tight skinny pants. So tight that now you can see their cameltoes poking through their groins? But I digress. Now let's talk about the music. Their new found music.

The problem with pinoy bands nowadays is that instead of coming up with something original, they tend to follow or jump the latest bandwagon thats happening in the states or try to sound more Parokya than Parokya Ni Edgar. A lose-lose situation if you ask me. Since you'll just be lumped in with the other bands that sound like the others. And instead of Chicoskee working and building on the sound that they had made with Icarus, they decided that it's best and more marketable (sice emo is so uso), to just strip down their sound, lose their edgier and more haunting dark sound and pray that the TRL kids are stupid enough to buy into their scheme. And EUREKA!!! It worked like a charm.

So what does the new album have to offer and why does Miggy look like he can get his ass kicked by my little sister? The latter is easy to answer. But this new album is like My Chemical Romance and Taking Back Sunday all rolled into one but with weaker vocals. It's pretty much power chords, a mascara and lyrics that run the gamut from death, love lost, death and.... death. With the opener and first single 'A Promise' leading the fray, these guys... I mean vampires, are dead serious about their musical mutation. Gone are those experimental guitar riffs that you heard on Icarus. Replaced by power chords with the occasional solo voicings. Even the 2nd track: 'Chicosci Vampire Social Club' is your standard emo affair. Whiny vocals with the occasional machine gun drumming, to give the song a boost. I did bob my head on 'Sweet Maria'. But as much as the intro and verse (kinda) rocked, the chorus made me want to take off my ears and feed them to my dogs. What the fuck is up with the background vocals singing "ohh-hoo-oooohhh!" in this weird out of tune harmonizing?

Speaking of vocals. Oh God the vocals. Next to Jamir Garcia, Miguel has got to be one of the worst vocalist that ever existed on God's green earth. Ok I am exaggerating. But whether he is yelling or screaming or whining, he just can't hit a note to save his life. Now I am not saying that you have to have a voice like Basti or Kevin Roy to be a respected rockstar, but for God's sake, HIT A NOTE! Miggy is either flat or.....flatter. There is just no way of going around it. A song will come on with some decent music, but once Miggy comes in with that frog voice of his, everything just goes down the drain. I am not going to apologize for sounding so harsh, but what he does to my ears is 10x much more inexplicable. Truth be told, the other Chicosci aren't a bad group of musicians. It's just Miguel is more of a crutch to them than a vocalist.

OK one more gripe. What the fuck do they need a so-called percussionist for a band that already has a drummer? It's not like their sound is so unique that a percussionist is needed. He is like the DJ on Slipknot or Incubus. He's there, but no one really pays any attention to him. Moving on....

Chicosci pretty much fails on every musical level. The rest of the tracks are pretty much molded out of the same Avon make-up kit. You can listen to the whole album and not one song is going to make you hit that repeat button. And that's the beef that I have with this album. Innovative is clearly not in their vocabulary, since each song contains all the emo cliches that you will find in other cliched emo albums. I'm talking about mundane, overly dramatic whiny vocals and guitar licks that doesn't do the emo genre any justice. Emo is already tainted by the mainstream media and these guys are not helping any. And from what I can tell they clearly talked about sounding like the previous bands that I mentioned without even taking in consideration being original. Gerard Way? Are you listening to this crap?

Chicosci. 12 tracks of emo cliches. 12 tracks of Miggy straining his voice so he can reach a note. 12 tracks that sound like you've heard of them before. What makes the kids gaga over them? Well its for damn sure not for their musical ingenuity! So what could it be then? My best bet? Probably their image. They make death and low self-esteem so romantic. And with the pinoy mentality of 'Image is everything', Chicoskee is dead serious about turning everyone into the dark side. To the point of calling their fans: VAMPIRES. Bunch of bullshit if you ask me. If only those Chicosci boys focused more on creating music than spending all their time putting eyeliner on each other, this album would have sounded a smidge better than what it is right now. But bad music is still bad music with or without eyeliner.

Now you emo kids can hate me all you want or tell me Im just too old to get it. Or start cutting yourselves and tell your parents how much you hate them and how much you want to become a vampire. Go ahead. It still won't take away the fact that what you are listening to is garbage music. And if you start calling this crap post-punk or post-hardcore or post hardcore-power-pop-punk or whatever 'post' that you can think of to try and distance yourself from this EMO crap, imma take youse blade and start cutting you myself. And this time Im going for the jugular!!!

Hale - Twilight

Hale - Twilight
Year : 2006

Track Listing
-------------
1. Last Song (2:49)
2. Fire in the Sky (4:03)
3. Empty Tears, Empty Heart (4:45)
4. The Ballad Of (5:09)
5. Waltz (4:11)
6. Hide and Seek (5:18)
7. Eyes Wide Shut (3:51)
8. Liham (4:14)
9. Shooting Stars (4:12)
10. 7, 8 (5:17)
11. Elegy (4:04)
12. Dahil Sa'yo Sa Himig ng Aking Gitara (3:32)
13. Starting over (4:27)
14. Brother (5:17)

“Aw HALE noooo!!! Deeezz wack ass posers are back again!!!”

Hale. So popular. And oh so dreamy…... I have to admit, it’s hard writing a review when you can’t even bear to listen to that Hale band. It’s one thing when you like a band and then you realize their album sucks. At least by the time you realize that their album sucks you have a clear idea of what the album has to offer. But what about in this situation where just the mere mention of their name makes you want to get a knife and cut both of your ears off? Where listening to two fat people having sex is more pleasurable? Yes. It’s that terrible. Some of you HALERS might say: “How can you say that? Your not a fan?” Exactly my point. Im NOT a Fan. Or a HALER might butt-in and say: “If you have nothing good to say, don’t say it. People have different tastes in music and we should all… blahblahblah….”. or “Have you released an album? And do you know how hard it is to write a song?” All good points. But it doesn’t take away the fact that HALE’s music blows. OK. So how did I approach this dilemma of mine? Simple. I gave each song a minute sample and did my review on that. This album is an hour long. That’s an hour that I could be doing something more productive with my life. That’s an hour that I could spend on downloading something educational at boldatporn.blogspot.com (shameless plug for pareng dandy’s website). That’s an hour. And an hour is a long time. OK brb.....

...
.....
....
.....
...

(after 20 mins.)

Whooo...got that out of my system....

OK one of the things that I have also noticed on this album is that some of the songs sounds very amateurish and has that unfinished child-like nursery rhyme thing going on. Songs like “Waltz” and “7, 8” and “Elegy” have melodies and lyrics that are just too awful to bear. Have you ever tried to write a song? And when you try to sing it, you tend to fit the sentence or phrase in before you change the chord? Or you tend to make a melody by the way you pluck the strings? Haha amateurish right? Still don’t get it? Why don’t you do this. Pluck your guitar strings from E-A-D-G. And while plucking each string, sing “My – dogg – has --- fleasss!!!” Now you know what I mean. Add to the fact that his lyrics sounds like it was taken out of his diary when he was 10 years old, this album is a testament that just because you scored one hit doesn’t mean it can happen again. He is just notorious for writing lyrics that either doesn’t make any sense or just plain cheesy and downright obvious. Everyone remembers the line: “Losing the sides of your circles”? Here we have the lyrics for 7, 8:

“I’ll always be around but I wont be home/
You’ll see me every time/ when were not alone/
You’ll hear me when you’re deaf/ coz you’re impaired
You’ll lose the sight of me/Coz you haven’t stared”

What the f**k is that s*it ?!?!? Is this guy on crack when he was writing that piece of garbage he calls lyrics??? It’s like he just put words together that rhymed and built sentences around it. Does it make sense? No. Did they still record it? Yes. What a bunch of fucking retards.


And here are lyrics that are just plain nauseating:

“You said that you’d call/what time you’ll be home/
But you never did/you said you did mean to/
Now I am enraged/ as if we were engaged/
You made me realize/I’m just your alibi “– Waltz

Boo-fucking-hoo!!! No wonder the girl didn’t call back. Sometimes his woe-is-me lyrics are too downright annoying for even an emo freak to sympathize with. Did he really expect people with at least half the brain of a chimpanzee to listen to this and go: “Wow. That was deep and meaningful. That’s exactly what I told this girl before she filed for a restraining order!!!” If you are going to use lyrics like these at least have the balls to come up with a better melody. That or work on it some more. Because those lyrics are just plain unacceptable for a so-called ‘professional musician’ who already has 2 albums under his belt to even think of making it into a song. But I read somewhere that it was written by someone else, which makes them more stupider (not really a word – Ed) for hiring a 10 year old to write lyrics for them. Dumbasses.

And even with upbeat songs like “Last Song” and “Fire in the Sky”, Champ’s vocals are just a bore to listen to. People describe his voice as gentle and soothing. I describe it as thin, monotone and lifeless. There is just no emotion to any of his songs. Even the more upbeat music didn’t have anything to reel me in. Why would you sing like you live in a mortuary for a song like Fire in the Sky? Yes, we get it Champ, your sad and you like to sing in your sad voice and do your sad little face. But even Robert Smith sang like he was the happiest guy on earth on some of The Cure songs. God, I have no idea why this band even got a record deal. Or why they chose him as the vocalist.

“Im singing my last song!! Im singing my last song!!!” - Last Song

I hope you really are Champ. I hope you really are.

I guess the sophomore jinx has taken its Toll on Champ & Co. They failed to come up with a song that will put that overplayed “The Day You Said Goodnight” song to sleep for good. Were they under the pressure to come up with another hit? Obviously. Were they able to pull it off? No. Music-wise and lyrics-wise, they took two giant steps backward. Their songs are just an overdose of melancholy while the lyrics suffer from “I-don’t-know what-else-to-write” syndrome. Combine that with Champ’s woebegone singing, listening to this album can get very tiring and at times annoying. Didn’t they read the label? It says: “Melodrama, if not applied as prescribed, may cause diarrhea, loneliness, anxiety and even DEATH”. Which exactly what happened to this album.

Lokomotiv - Rock N Roll Death Toll

Lokomotiv - Rock N Roll Death Toll
Year : 2006

Track Listing
-------------

1. House Of Lies
2. Ride With Me
3. State Of Mind
4. Ashes Of Home
5. Innert Passerby
6. Slow Grind
7. Anthrmthrfuckr
8. Heart In Twor
9. Five Alive
10. Madre Salvacion

The Train has been derailed.

“Chugga-Chugga-Whoot-Whoot”

“The train is-a-commmin!!!”



Locomotive….. just the name evokes images of power, strength and speed. But wikepedia defines a locomotive as “a railway vehicle that provides the motive power for a train, and has no payload capacity of its own; its sole purpose is to move the train along the tracks.” Take a closer look at the last 2 lines and you’ll have a pretty good idea what this band is all about..

Now take the same name, change the “C’” to a “K” and then take out the “E” and now we have a band that won’t be joining the next spelling bee contest anytime in the near future.

Lokomotiv is a So. California band from Orange County made up of members from the two biggest rock groups from the Philippines: Wolfgang & Razorback. Hmmm now your thinking to yourself…. “Wolfgang plus Razorback, minus Louie Talan, divided by egos, carry Basti Artadi, remainder 1, take out Manuel Legarda, add David Aguirre, multiply that by Leslie, sorry I mean WOLF and add a mexican gut that can play a mean mariachi, and what do you have? A SUPERGROUP!!!

Far from it. SUPER didn’t exactly happen with this group. Trying so hard to distance themselves from the sound of their previous bands that they made a new sound of their own. If i may quote my fellow PBG member T-Bag, he coined it : "WHITE-TRASH-CABARET-DUMP-ROCK-N-ROLL!!!" And Basti knew it too that’s why he left. Which is a good move. Who wants to be remembered as a rusty piece of machinery from the 1900’s?

…. has no payload capacity of its own….

Wikepedia defines payload as “the valuable contents of the vehicle”

Now don’t get me wrong, this album contains monstrous guitar riffs, blazing solos, pounding bass lines and hard-rockin’ drums. All valuable to make a heavy rock album. But those contents won’t make a good record. With all the strength and power of the instruments blasting in your face, the songs really suffered on this album. For some reason Basti can’t seem to make the lyrics fit with the music. To the point where some of his lyrics sound like B-sides of Wolfgang songs. His lyrics here just fail in comparison to what he used to write.

“You wanna ride?
Door’s open, won’t you come on up inside?
You wanna die?
Door’s open, come on sit right by my side”

Even his voice sounds like it’s forced. Like his telling himself to like the song but you can tell that his heart is just not in it. Just listen to Slow Grind where he’s yelling “I’m reckoning” on the top his lungs! There is despair. But not despair in where he is trying to show desperation, but despair as in “Get me out of this band, I rather sell houses!!!” And with songs titles like “ANTHRMTHRFUCKR” and “House Of Lies” you know he wants to get off the train.

Even with a talent like David Aguirre on the guitars, RNRDT is still failed to make an impact on my ears. His guitar riffs sounds like he’s just wanking off. Not to mention there’s nothing really new to what he’s doing. They’re guitar riffs inspired by glam metal bands from the 70’s and 80’s with no real intention in coming up with anything original and inspiring. Boring is an understatement.

And now for the bottom end… What? There’s a bottom end? Yup. Danny on bass and Leslie Gemora on drums. With all that wanking that David was doing, the bass sure took a backseat. He just wanted guitars, guitars and guitars on every song. And the drums sound like it’s following the guitar’s tempo instead of the other way around. That or maybe Leslie just sucks at drumming. Maybe that’s why he changed his name to Wolf to make it seem like he can play the drums. But I digress. I think here is what’s lacking in this album. The payload. The songs. The most valuable item of an album. All “chugga-chugga” and no “woot-woot”.

…. its sole purpose is to move the train along the tracks ….

And just as a locomotive has to stay on the tracks to get to wherever it’s going, this album pretty much did the same thing. They stayed on track. One track. No seaside or ocean views. No detours. No twists or turns. No stops. Just one straight track. I’m sure with a name like Lokomotiv, it’s understandable that their plan was to make an album of straight in-your-face-cock-rock. But herein lies their weakness also. Even Wolfgang had a ballad or two in their albums to give the listener some breathing room. Just imagine sitting on a train with a barren desert wasteland as your view. Although you know you’re moving at high speeds your excitement will diminish once you get used to it. Same thing happens when you are listening to RNRDT. One guitar tone, one tempo, one of everything. And once you realize those riffs are not what it’s cracked up to be, you’re pretty much going to zone out and look for other things to do. Did they actually think that what they were doing was sooo original that they had to use the same formula for every song? Sorry but it’s just too much of the same thing. Still don't know understand what I'm trying to say? Try fucking your girlfriend for 10 mins (if you can even last that long) in the same position and at the same speed. See if she doesn't complain of burning and boredom!

But with any long trip the best part is always when you’re about to reach your destination. When you start to see what looks like a town from the horizon. And you start to see trees and people. And you know you can finally relax and stretch your legs. Take a breather. The same can be said with the last song on this album. “Madre Salvacion”. The only track that actually made me listen. This has got to be the only song that Basti was inspired to write. Since he’s writing about leaving the band! Just take a look at the lyrics!!!

“Someone’s gonna die/ And be reborn”
“Come on, save me senorita/ From this hell that I’ve come to know”
“Then he’ll know what path to take and where he should begin”
“Oh Lord in heaven this is my final call/Oh Lord in heaven this is my final fall”

Wolf asks “Get In or Get Out Of The Way” – I think I choose the latter. This train is going nowhere anyways.

My Final Rating:
A - for it’s A train wreck. LOLZ.

Imago - Blush

Imago - Blush
Year : 2006

Track Listing
-------------

1. Zelo
2. Lula
3. Sundo
4. Under Repair
5. Highway
6. Lights Out
7. Last Dance
8. Closer
9. Taralets
10. Walang Misteryo
11. So Be It
12. SRO

Imago means "an image of oneself".


Imago was formed five years ago in 1999. They quickly wrote an album’s worth of original material which they recorded under the helm of renowned producer and musician Bob Aves. That first album Probably Not But Most Definitely was released in 2001 under Viva Records and intruduced them to the masses as a "world/folk rock band". They were able to also pick up a handful of Awit, Katha and NU107 Rock Awards for the stellar songwriting and musicianship they displayed on that first cd.

Then on 2004, with a few line-up changes, they released an independently produced but albeit a more heavier album. Gone are the sweeping violins and acoustic guitars. Replaced by heavier drums and distorted guitars. Gone also are heartfelt songs and very distinct music. Basically Take 2 was a hodgepodge of styles mixed together with really no intention of introducing anything new to the music industry. One song theyre a pop-punk band (Anino), and then the next song you find Aia trying (really) hard to rap (Gratitude). Aside from their hit-single "Akap", Take 2 failed to win the hearts of the old Imago fans. But were able to win the MTV/TRL generation fans. Fans who base the "next big thing" by how much TV airplay a band gets.

And now fast-forward to 2006 and with the band at the hands of a very capable producer, Buddy Zabala, Imago has once again undergone another musical facelift surgery. Literally. From their photoshopped mugs plastered all over the CD Inlay art to their bubble-gum style pop-rock, Imago is is determined to ride the coattails of the latest fad that is happening in the music industry. Pogi Rock? Puh-lease,that was soooo 2005. What about Pa-Kyut boses Rock? Hmmm... you never know. Why? I think that was the only thing that Aia and Co. had in mind throughout the whole album.To sell themselves as the next boyband who plays instruments. Honestly, when you pick up the CD you don't know if your looking at a new Imago CD or the new A*Teens album. Even the lyrics suffered on some of the songs. Simplified, so the next pimple-faced, broken-hearted 12 year old teeny-bopperwho-has-a-crush-on-that-badboy- could relate easily. Here's a rundown of the songs:

1. Zelo
From the get-go, this song annoyed the f**k out of me. "Akooo, ang aakay sayo/sa blah-blah ng bagyo na haharang sayo". This is bubble-gum pop to the nth degree. Annoying lyrics coupled with that annoying chorus. Give yourself a hand if you can get through the whole song without pressing 'skip'.

2. Lula
Okay guitar riff. Bad execution. The chorus goes: "Ayoko na atang malula/ Sa mata mong tumitingala...." WTF?!?! Was she on something when she was writing these lyrics? It doesn't make sense, and if she was trying to sound 'deep' and 'thought-provoking' then she has failed miserably.

3. Sundo
Heeeyyy.... cool intro. *rrrriiiiiiinnnnng* Hello? Is this Imago? Yeah. Sugarfree called and they want their song back.

4. Under Repair
Okay at this time I'm just trying to salvage whatever is left on this poor-excuse they call an album. Whats this? Wow a song that doesn't sound like it was written for the next pop diva. "No harm done/You're under repair". Ok, Aia, I'll just take your word for it.

5. Highway
Ahhh godammiiitt!!! I knew I spoke too soon. From the plain-as-day lyrics, "From the deep of the night/ I look over my shoulder you LOOK SO FINE."??? Hmmm...."you look so fine." I also wrote these type of lyrics .... when i was 12!!!

6. Light Out
A good somber song. You can tell they from the many complaints they got from Take 2 that they are trying to bring that PNBD sound in some way.I actually listened tho the whole thing and actually liked it.

7. Last Dance
A-D-G-D. The chords used for the whole song. Actually for it's simplicity and straightforwardness it's actually a nice song.

8. Closer
Ahhhh f**k another commercial jingle COLGATE?? CLOSE-UP??? Anybody wants to use this garbage for their next commercial jingle? hello? *presses skip*

9. Tara-Lets
"Tara-lets, tara tara tara taralets/ Di ka na mabibigo - whoa-ohh!!!" Hmmmm..... from what i can remember from their Bembang interview, they mentioned that they don't like novelty songs. So what is this then? I thought Anino was annoying, but Aia managed to outdo herself and made a song MOREANNOYING than the previous. Now either that requires real talent or she just has a knack for 'sucking'.

10. Walang Mysteryo
Opening note. I predict that this is another novelty song. Ive already wasted hours listening to the whole album. I deserve a break. *press skip*

11. So Be It
So be it also. This CD is my favorite........coaster.......

12. SRO
hmmmmm..... Standing Room Only. Cool concept about being in a relationship where you come second to everything else. i guess the same thing goes for her music as well. It comes second after all the make-up and her horrible dancing.

So my final rating??? I give this album a BIG FAT D(ick). Why? Cos it suck balls and and it's not as good as PNBD. And that's where I'm pretty much going to base all of their albums from. Why? Coz thats how it is. Im still dumbfounded on how a band manage to go from Amazing to plain Horrible. Honestly if i've never heard of their first album I'd probably give Blush a B. It's a good album if you've never heard the first one. But this lastest offering from the group who brought you amazing songs like Akap and Bathala will leave you red, not from blushing, but from anger.

Get To Know MEEHHH!!!!

Name: Mister Heyter Reyd
Age: Old enough
Location: Far Away
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Occupation: Nothing. I write reviews of album I really, really hate.
Eyes Color: Dark Black
Hairs Color: Black with gray hairs
Skin Colors: Brown
Hobbies: listen and collect OPM rock CDs. play guitar. dance. eat. breathe. sleep. shit.
Fave Movie: The Otheres, Crash, American Psycho, The Machinist
Fave Actor: Bayani Agbayani
Fave Actress: Katrina Halili
Fave Singer: Basti Artadi, Kevin Roy, Karl Roy, Cynthia Alexander, Armi Millares, Melody Del Mundo
Fave Band: Alot
Fave Music: tankilikin ang sariling atin!!! OPM rak!!!
Fave Color: Black and red
Fave TV Show: Prison Break
Fave Fantasy: I am rockstar. Hahahahaha.
Vices: masturbate a lot
Motto: if i don't like your album, then it deserves to be roasted!!!
Most Prized Possesion: my Gibson guitar and my iPod
Goals: to talk shit
Describe Your Blog: Plain and simple. If I don't like your album then it's going to be on here. If it's not on here then it either rocks or I haven't gotten to talking shit about it. nyahahahhahaha!!!